Wednesday, August 11, 2010


_MG_4315.jpg, originally uploaded by C. Valle.

I recently experienced an unscheduled near-death experience, the details of which are as irrelevant as they are fictional. Suffice it to say the climax of the episode was prolonged exposure [LD90] to a potent combination of Healing White Light®, photochemical smog, and Ketel One vodka. The results of this exposure were idiopathic euphoria, impaired motor skills, delusions of reference, and jungle fever. A short convalescence revealed a loss of corporate sponsorship, forked tongue and total eclipse of the heart. I was forced to learn how to hate and feel pain all over again. Thanks to the tireless efforts of my neighbors, random motorists, the California Franchise Tax Board and The People Who Are Actually Just Animals Walking Upright, I made a full recovery and was reunited with my family, who were understandably impressed.

I'm back, bitches.